The cheapest way to suffer frustration and misery in life is by attempting to have everything under control. The hard truth is that you can never have everything strictly under your control. In this life things do happen – events that are totally out of our control can occur.
All the problems we face in life fall into 3 categories:
– Direct Control Problems: which involves our own decisions and actions.
– Indirect Control Problems: which involves the decisions and actions of other people.
– No Control Problems: which involves problems we can do nothing about like past events and/or situational realities.
Invest more energy in problems related to your own decisions and actions, that’s the direct control problems.
The key to growth and change however, lies not with trying to control what is purely out of your control but in controlling how you respond to it.
You may not be able to control anything else in your life but there’s always one thing you can control – your attitude.
2. Seeking for Shortcuts.
We live in an impatient culture. A society that wants the result without going through the “process”. We want to succeed but are not ready to pay the full price for success. We want rich and meaningful relationships but are not willing to make the necessary sacrifices.
Trying to get the result by boycotting a natural process is suicidal. Shortcuts may get you what you want but they will definitely cut you short in terms of denying you the capacity needed to sustain it.
All of life is a process. Take a close look at the sequential stages in the growth and development of a baby. A child learns to squat, sit, stand, walk and run. Each step is important and takes time. This is also true in all phases of life. And anyone who wants to enjoy a rich and quality life must learn to yield to the “process”.
What the process does in you is more important than the result you seek. Why? Because the capacity to be and do is trapped in the process not the result.
3. Running from Challenges.
If you are one of those who are in the habit of doing things that keep you in your comfort zone, you will never get ahead in life. Taking up challenges or tasks that seem to be beyond your current capacity is one way to stretch your ability to the next level.
Anyone who values the dividends that go with growth and human evolution is never okay staying confined in the small space where s/he feels comfortable. There’s always that nudge to step out into the deep and taste the waters. Such disposition is a breeding site for revolutionary encounters.
4. Comparing yourself with Others.
One of the biggest challenges of life is being yourself in a world that’s constantly trying to make you like everyone else.
Know this: in this life, someone will always prove to be prettier, smarter, stronger, richer and greater. But no-one can ever prove to be YOU.
So if you would learn to focus on this YOU, this YOU will amaze the world.
Self-growth is holy ground. It’s not competing with others but competing with yourself. It’s not becoming better than others but becoming the best version of YOU.
You are evolving not when you think or feel you are becoming better than anyone else. You are truly evolving when you are constantly becoming superior to your former self.
5. Being Ungrateful
It is often hard trying to connect the dots in our lives. Many times we can’t seem to understand or get to fix all the puzzle pieces of our life to fit together into anything meaningful or significant.
This condition, if not properly handled, leads to depressive moods. With time we start complaining about everything while being grateful for nothing.
Instead of thinking about the few things you are missing now which others are enjoying, think about the many things you are enjoying now which others are missing. This will cause your heart to overflow with gratitude. And gratitude is enlarging. It trains your mind to stay focused on the really important things in your life at each point in time.
One antidote for life which often times is a bitter pill for many of us to swallow is being grateful for the bad events as we are of the good ones. But then that’s the key that unlocks the ultimate power trapped within us. It not only lifts the burden of our present predicaments off our shoulders, it also opens the door for a fresh new experience that could take us to higher grounds.
Sometimes until something else exits our life, something new and better may never make its grand entrance into our lives.
Be grateful for that business that failed. Be grateful for those friends who walked away. Be grateful for that relationship that turned sour. Be grateful for that huge disappointment. All these bad experiences somehow will turn out for the better.
Sure, they are very painful experiences but don’t just let them steal your joy and sense of gratitude.