The Magic of Mistakes

IF YOU ARE like me who tend to give so much credence to precautionary measures before attempting any task, you most likely are yet to experience the real magic of mistakes.

It doesn’t matter how careful we are, mistakes are just inevitable. 

Often times when I hear myself or others saying something like; “If I had known what I knew now 10 years ago, my life would have been a lot better,” I shrug my shoulders and wave my head.

The truth is, if you hadn’t gone through that experience of 10 years, there’s no way you could have learned what you now know. In retrospect, it is the lessons you learned from the series of mistakes you’d made in those 10 years that has combined together to turn you into the kind of personality you have become today.

There’s a marked difference between the system of learning in our traditional schools and that of the real world. In school, you are thought the lesson before the experience. But in the real world it is the other way round. The lesson is learned via the experience.

This is why mistakes are detested in the world of traditional schooling. In school the more mistakes you make, the less intelligent you are thought to be.

If you are going to thrive in the real world, you must have a different view on mistakes that you had while in school. You must recognize that there’s a clear distinction between “school smarts” and “street smarts”

School smarts does not give room for learning via mistakes because it perceives them as not being smart.

On the contrary, street smarts encourage learning on the go. As King Solomon of Ancient Israel wrote, “Wisdom is found in the street.” In the street, as you make attempts to achieve your goals, you have much freedom to make as many mistakes as possible. For that’s where the magic lies.

Every mistake is a big opportunity for learning. You learn so much more from making mistakes than you could possibly learn from not making one.

Can you remember the frustration you went through as you struggled to learn how to ride a bicycle. While all your friends are busy riding, all you find yourself doing is climbing on the bike this moment and immediately falling off the next. You make mistake after mistake until suddenly, a whole new world opens up to you and you start riding like a pro. That’s the magic of mistakes.

I think I have a quick advice to offer you today.

Since mistakes are inevitable in the real world, don’t work hard at trying to avoid them. Instead work hard at understanding the art of making a mistake and gaining deep insight from it.

At that point where you figure that you’d made a mistake, you may feel upset but the truth is if you are not careful, such feeling will deny you the benefit of enjoying the real magic of the mistake.

If you allow your feelings to rule over your judgments when you make mistakes, you will find yourself exhibiting one or more of the following characters:

1. The Liar: You will hear yourself saying such things as; “Not me, I didn’t do it. No, no, no. I don’t know how it happened. This means lying to yourself about the mistake that you’ve obviously made.

2. The Blamer: You will say things like; “It’s not my fault, she’s the one responsible.” “This wouldn’t have happened had I come from a rich family.” And so on.

3. The Justifier: You will find ways to justify the actions which led to the mistake. You will hear yourself  saying things like; “Well, I didn’t have any other option.” Or “I would have made it if I had more time and money. Or “I had to do it because everyone else was doing it.”

4. The Quitter: You say things like; “I told you that this thing would never work. This is just too hard and it’s probably not worth it after all.” 

5. The Complainer: You will hear yourself uttering words like; “Why me? What have I done? Why is all this happening to me?” Or “I’m finished!” Or “Nothing I do ever works.”

6. The Denier: In this case you tend to bury your head in the sand like the ostrich. That is you deny that the mistake did occur by ignoring it. You hear yourself saying things like; “No, nothing wrong happened. I mean, it’s not that bad. Things are still fine.”

When either of these characters suffice in your moments of mistakes (which evidently is unavoidable), you are most likely going to frustrate the power that’s trapped in them.

This is June. The sixth month of the year and the last month of the first half of 2017. 

You have probably made more mistakes than you’d anticipated before this year began. Perhaps, you’ve tried many things that failed. 

This is what I suggest you do this month:

Throw aside your ill-feelings. Travel the memory lane and bring up those instances where you’d made mistakes. Take responsibility for them. Allow the responsible you to take control of your thinking. 

Instead of lying to yourself or looking for who to blame or complaining or burying your head in the sand, ask yourself this priceless question; “What invaluable lessons can I learn from these series of mistakes? What is it I’m not doing right? What can I do better next time?

Note the lessons down and determine to integrate them in your next line of action whether in your personal or professional life. If you practice this, I assure you, the remaing part of the year will be full of uncommon realities for you.

It will be like magic!

The 3 Essentials for Reaching Your Essence

PART OF BEING human is that we are always inclined towards making progress with our lives one way or the other, 

Even if it means moving in the wrong direction. There’s always that growing need to constantly be, or feel the sense of being in motion.

You want to move forward in your career or business. 

Even if it’s a job, you want to move from a lower position to a higher one, or better still, move from being an employee to becoming an employer.

You just want to constantly feel a sense of motion in your life. You want to wake up every morning knowing deeply within you that you are not where you used to be, that you’ve moved somewhat from HERE to THERE. And that you are probably putting your best foot forward towards a better life.

Three things are essential not only to provide you with this sense of motion but also to ultimately lead you to an expected end.

1. Decide Your PATH

This is so important, and it’s one key that ensures a safe landing for you in the end. 

Where are you going? What do you want out of life? What are your biggest aspirations? What do you want to be when you grow up?

The answer to these questions come in steps:

~ Take your time. Think quietly about your life up to this point. Take days to think quietly. Take weeks, or even months as the case may be.

~ In such moments of quietness ask yourself; “What do I really want out of this gift called life?”

~ Keep asking this question for as long as it takes to get clear about it. Write your thoughts down.

~ Don’t talk to anyone else during these moments, at least until you are certain you know what you think you really want.

2. Develop Your PLAN

Your plan is the blueprint for navigating your path.

At that point when you’ve gotten some light about your true path, the next thing is to seek out a plan that will work BEST for you.

Notice the emphasis. The plan should not only be your own but must be the one that can work BEST for you. A plan may be good but the big question you should ask is; “Will this plan work best for me?”

This plan doesn’t necessarily have to be complex. In fact, it has to be simple for it to be useful. Plan here speaks of action steps, strategies, systems and formulas that are readily applicable for navigating your path.

At this point you are allowed to talk to people, although not just anyone or everyone. 

Talk to people that matter. Talk to people who are ahead of you in the game. Talk to people who are less likely to develop any form of bias about the path you’d chosen for yourself. Talk to professionals. Talk to people who by virtue of their wealth of knowledge and experience can provide expert knowledge to you that will guide you in developing a plan that will work best for you.

3. Stay on 1 and Stick with 2

Yes! Stay on the PATH and stick with the PLAN. A compound word for this statement I guess is, DISCIPLINE.

The real reason for most failures is lack of discipline to both stay on the path and stick with the plan. 

A lot of people start walking the path by following the plan, and soon they are bored. So they stop and then start seeking another path or a different plan. Unfortunately such action only leads to a repeated cycle of boredom.

You must give success time. 

Your path and plan doesn’t need to change because of one or two failures or difficulty here and there. You just need to improve on them through time as you gather more and more information and/or experience.

It may look like it’s taking longer than you’d expected. That’s when you have to exercise discipline. Just keep trusting the path and keep committing to the plan. You will rise up one day, look back and discover that you are nowhere near where you used to be. Instead you are somewhere very close to where you want to be.

So here’s the nugget of truth in a more refined state:

~ Know what you want

~ Have a (customized) plan

~ Stick to it (discipline)

The rest will just be history.

The Power of Failure…how to profit from failures

ARE YOU IN the league of folks who are afraid of failure?

Are you one out of the countless many who for the perceived shame and embarrassment often associated with failure have remained indifferent about taking worthwhile steps towards success?

Just a moment. Let’s talk about this thing called failure.

What’s failure? What’s your paradigm about the whole concept of failure? Is success really possible without failure? What about the fear of failure?

Let me begin by making this all important point: 

“One of the highest motivation for success is the fear of failure.”

Fear of failure is not a bad thing. In fact, it is one of the most powerful tools successful people leverage on to achieve uncommon success.

The fear of failure is not a problem per se. It is what you choose to do with it that counstitutes a major part of the problem.

The fear of failure is a valid tool designed to keep us from the thought of living average, mediocre lives. The persistent feeling or thought of the possibility of failure is programmed to motivate us out of our comfort zones. Unfortunately, in most cases the opposite is what happens because we fail to channel our fears in the right direction.

The one thing about successful people is not that they don’t have the fear of failure lurking around their minds. It is that they have trained their minds to turn every thought or fear of failure into a massive weapon to achieve the success they want.

To enter this league, you need to teach yourself how to do the conversion. Two things are what I wish to pound my hands on.

First is, REDEFINING FAILURE.

The primary reason we don’t profit from failures is because of the interpretation we give to it, or the basic understanding we have about it which is overly erroneous most of the times. 

This erroneous ideology about failure is more or less instigated by the society. The society where we live trains us to constantly see failure from the negative angle.

Nowhere is this paradigm more pronounced like the school system where the grading system is nothing more than a caste system.

The concept of failing in school and its perceived implications is the chief reason majority of us do not know how to profit from failure.

The key thing is to repeatedly see failure through a positive lens.

You see, the desire to succeed is the acceptance of the existence and possibility of failure. It is the realization that the equation of success is never complete without some kind of failure.

You can’t have a bold claim on success when you have not tasted failure firsthand. Failure is the proof of success.

Do you want to succeed? Then get ready to fail again and again. 

Am I attempting to promote failure, and probably give you a reason to become comfortable with your failures?

Not at all.

I’m only trying to lay out the facts on the table for us to behold. I’m only painting a picture of failure that would aid our interpretation of it in a way that would bring us the success we crave. The very one we deserve.

I’m only saying you should learn to factor in failure as part of the major process that leads to success. In fact, the quickest route to success is nothing more than failure. There’s indeed more to that but this is just a basic and indisputable reality.

You see, the business of building a profitable career around your deepest passion is not a bed of roses. It’s a journey that brings you face-to-face with unprecedented realities of failure.

This has been my experience for as long as I can recall.

To succeed in navigating the path and reaching your expectation, you must train your mind to always see failure as part of the whole process. Otherwise you ain’t ready yet for the greatness you say you desire.

The second thing that aids your ability to tap into the power of failure for conversion into a weapon for success is, REFINING FAILURE.

By this I mean, being able to extract useful information from your failures which you can leverage on to make better choices. 

For me, this is the game changer.

I see failure as a feedback mechanism in the wheel of success. It tells me one of two things or both: that there’s something I’m not doing or that there’s something I’m not doing right.

Your job in this context is to find out which it is so you can quickly pick up from where you left off.

Failure is like a parcel. It contains within it certain specifications necessary for your next move. It provides useful information for the next big thing on your path to success.

The time we spend brooding over our failures and getting unnecssarily embarrassed or depressed can be used differently – for learning purposes.

That’s the key. A learning attitude towards every failure you suffer is what refines and turns it into a rich commodity.

Failure has monetary value. There’s an unmined gold trapped within every failure.

What do I mean by this?

When you hear about people making 6 figures from books, online courses, consulting and the likes, what do you think it’s all about?

Obviously it’s all about profiting from their failures. Such products or services are nothing more than an attempt to bring to light the lessons learned from their failures to help others get the same or similar results they’ve succeeded in getting.

So aside utilizing the lessons we learn from our failures to arrive at our expectations, we can also utilise them to create valuable products / services that can aid other people in their own journeys. By so doing, we not only get the opportunity to help others but also to earn profitably in the process.

I hope you now see how it works. That there’s even huge financial benefits embedded in your failures. 

To distil it down, this then is the procedure:

1. See your failures through a positive lens.

2. Extract the lessons contained in your failures.

3. Convert the lessons into a process or system that can be replicated by others.

4. Package the process in the form of valuable products / services   

5. Start selling

Deconstructing Attitudes

WHEN I WAS a kid, I was angry about something which I can’t even recall right now. I was so angry that I shut everyone and everything out. 

In that state of anger and bitterness, I slept off only to wake up with a very high fever. I was so sick that even as a child I knew without being told that my emotional state brought it about. 

The Scripture do not let the sun go down on your anger is not so much about the issue of faith and religion. It’s about you. It’s about what it does to you.

You see, bad attitude is poisonous to the soul. Nothing kills faster than the feelings of bitterness and negativity. 

If you don’t mind let me take some space to provide a little insight on the scientific basis of the above ideology. I’m not a veteran in the field of sciences but at least I am a science student with a degree in biochemistry. Moreover, this might just be basic biology knowledge.

The body system is a fluid system. Most physiological activities that occur in the body happen via the secretion of “ductless” substances known as hormones. Ductless here implies that these substances do not flow through any channel to perform their functions. They are released directly into the bloodstream and straight on to their target organs or cells. Their release is triggered mostly by the activities that take place in the mind.

Bad attitude for example, triggers the release of a hormone, “cortisol” which is responsible for most heart problems, nervous breakdown, and cancer related diseases.

Here’s how it happens, when cortisol levels are high as a result of ill feelings, a nerve known as the vagus nerve stretches from the brain to the stomach and hits every organ in your body.

The vagus nerve supplies motor fibres to all the organs of the body, from the neck to the colon. And it also controls the function of some skeletal muscles.

The actions of this nerve is said to be responsible for all known diseases. 

The nerve gets inflamed when your cortisol levels are too high for too long which then cause damages to your organs.

For the vagus nerve to perform its normal functions, cortisol needs to be expunged from your system. And nothing does the job better than a positive attitude. 

Positive attitude triggers the release of another hormone, oxytocin commonly called the “god” or “feel-good” hormone This hormone deflects the inflammatory actions of the vagus nerve thereby providing health and stability to organ functions.

Shits happen in life, no doubt. And most of the times they are completely out of our control. 

The disappointments of life can cause you to see nothing but negativity in your future. You express despondency, belittle your potentials, disdain opportunities for personal growth, complain about the unfairness of life, and perhaps, conclude that nothing you do will ever make any difference in a particular situation.

Does this seem anything like the attitudes you find flowing through you most of the days?

If so, I have both good and bad news for you. 

The bad news is that with such attitude you are complicating and endangering your whole life. Just as I described early on, you are exposing yourself to high levels of (cortisol) which poisons your soul and body, and shortens your life span.

The good news however, is that you can decide what your attitude to every and any situation will be.

Attitudes are nothing more than habits of thought. Habits are acquired through repeated action. This simply means that you can develop a mental attitude that triggers the feel-good hormone as opposed to cortisol especially when shits happen in your life.  

If I have one goal each morning as I rise to meet the dawn, it is this one: To maintain a positive mindset. To smile generously into the free space. To cast off from my shoulders the weight of yesterday’s disappointments, failures, mistakes, and problems. 

There are a number of ways you can ensure to keep tabs on your attitude but I wish to suggest a few salient ones to you this morning.

1. Laughter: I’m currently working at something for myself. I want to train my mind to get to that point where it’s first response to a negative situation is laughter. To laugh out loud and with all my strength especially when there’s no logical reason to do so.  As we were told by scientists, “It takes more facial muscles to frown than to smile or laugh.”

2. Selfless Service: Providing a selfless service for someone or a group, especially those you are better than in some ways, creates an unusual positive feeling that keeps your oxytocin level on fire because it gives you a deep sense of worth and value. 

3. Early Morning Walk: I started doing this recently. Although I’ve been slacking. Taking a lone walk at the cool of the day, when nature is either too young or old, shoots positive feelings into your soul. An evening walk with a friend or lover can produce the same effect. 

4. Hugging: There’s something about hugs that is inexplicable, particularly when it involves people you love and care about. Although it can even be more powerful when it’s a stranger. The experience sends chills of ecstasy down my spine. Hug is interpreted as acceptance and care. And who doesn’t want those?

5. Deep Breathing: Remember those days in class when in between the lessons, especially when it seems the subject is too hard to assimilate, the teacher would ask us to stand up and take a long long deep breath before he continues with the class. I’ve always wondered how that changes anything. But the truth is, it does a lot. It brings with it a deep sense of relief and calmness that says; “relax, this is not something you can’t take care of.” 

6. Listening to Music: Lying down in bed listening to soothing music can create magical feelings within your soul. This is why women in labor are advised to listen to soothing music. I do this many of the times. Music is the new sexy. Not all of them though. There are all sorts of beats and lyrics out there parading themselves as good music. You should be wise enough to select the kinds that breed the positive feeling you need. The ones that get you pumped up.

By all means, keep tabs on your attitude.

Reinventing Yourself

YOU ARE A bundle of diversity. Your uniqueness as an entity is not just in the capabilities you possess but in your ability to continuously weave these capabilities together into newer ideas and creativity.

Life is an evolution journey. A journey whose purpose is to lead you into those terrains that would facilitate the eventful manifestation of the latest version of your unique identity and personality. 

Where you are now, what you are now, and what you are doing now, all are nothing compared to where you can be and/or what you can be and do.

The latest version of your real self, like a full grown baby in the womb,  is always kicking to be born. It’s always seeking to express itself to the world. 

Unfortunately, a number of factors keep suppressing it. And this suppression factors are usually responsible for the depression we tend to suffer as individuals.

Depression is simply the manifestation of suppressed self expression. When your true self is restricted from finding full expression, the direct consequence is a depressed condition characterized by loss of happiness and low morale.

In my own journey I’d observed  few of these suppression factors that generate human  depression, and which ultimately slows or shuts down completely the process that leads to the emergence of the latest version of our truest identity and personality.

Routine: being drenched in the practice of doing the same exact thing, the same exact way, every day, for a protracted period of time. 

Comfort zones: overly satisfaction with one’s present role and responsibilities to a point where the desire to grow and try out new things is completely drowned.

Blending: following the status quo in an attempt to be like everyone else, in order to fit into the system. Any emotional attachment (blending in) with existing social norms is a straight cut to loss of one’s individualism, as well as the capacity for personal evolution.

Procrastination: deliberately putting off key opportunities for gaining a new experience and better perspective. 

Excuses: a behaviour characterized by constantly seeking ways to justify  personal actions and/or inactions.  Rarely wanting to take responsibility for a situation, thereby not exercising one’s ability towards seeking for better options or different alternatives.

Two phrases is what I wish to use to provide some insights into this subject: “Let go” and “Stay true”.

1. Let go.

Yes, you must let go of the old before the new can come. 

If you keep clinging to what you are, if you remain put where you are, then the room for improvement and reinvention stays locked. You can’t expect to have a new experience when you are still trapped in the same old self and system.

Reinventing yourself is not a sprint race. It’s not even a marathon. It’s a relay race. It’s a journey where at every junction you must exercise the will to hand over the baton – to let the new you pick up from where the old you left off.

This requires openness and strong faith in the ability of this new you to lead you forward to another better version of your true self. You may not know how. That may not even be necessary. As long as the conviction is there, let go of the old show and enter into the new flow. 

2. Stay true

I mean stay true to yourself. 

I can’t tell you how much this really means. But I can assure you that if you are doing a good job of staying true to yourself at all times, you will have less traumatic periods than you are probably having right now. Your evolution as a complex specie will transcend times and seasons.

The problem of humanity today is that we are not being true to ourselves. We know the truth about us but we keep denying it. 

We know how unhappy we are doing what we are doing but we deny it. We know that current job or career isn’t provoking the best in us but we stay put, acting as though all is well.

No! All is not well. Accept the truth and align with it. 

Let me give you one more advice: Never you spend one single day engaged in something you aren’t feeling good about. That’s danger zone. Keep off!

Your evolution happens faster and more in the right direction when you make it a point of duty to stay within the boundaries of your passions. Any action to the contrary is trespassing and is inimical to your personal evolution.

Your Daily Personal Energy Program

YOU NEED ENERGY for life. Energy is essential for work. Dreams and goals are useless if you lack energy. 

The definition of energy is one of those I don’t and can’t forget. It is the ability or capacity for work. It simply means that energy is correlated with work. No energy, no work. The higher the energy levels, the higher the output of work and vice versa.

The implication is that you need high levels of personal energy on a daily basis to pursue and live your dreams. 

Any day you wake up and realize that you lack personal energy and momentum, the day is almost over for you because there’s little or nothing you can accomplish when energy is lacking.

For you to be able to take advantage of all the possibilities around you, and to have continuous enthusiasm that keeps you motivated and always moving ahead, you need to organize your life in such a way that you feel terrific and highly pumped up for action every passing day.

So what I wish to do now is highlight 4 tips you can imbibe for your daily personal energy program. These tips are helpful in keeping you in the right physical, mental and emotional state for harnessing your day. I’m personally learning to practice these tips myself.

Tip # 1: Proper Rest

We all know that lying, stealing, cheating and the likes are sinful acts. But many of us do not know it is also a sinful act to not give ourselves proper rest.

Rest is a strategy. It is a form of spiritual exercise. It is giving yourself a break to recover the most energy you’ve used up thinking and executing ideas, working and wearing yourself out.

Proper rest means two things: sleeping and relaxing. It means taking out time everyday when you are not doing any work – physical or mental. A period you just relax your mind and body.

Eight hours of good sleep has been recommended as the best medicine for revitalizing oneself both physically and mentally. And I mean night sleep. There’s a reason sleeping at night is the best form of rest. In fact according to one study by WHO, working through the night instead of sleeping was found to increase the risk of cancer.

The study explains that the theory behind this has to do with the body’s melatonin (hormone) levels and the changes the body experiences when forced into staying awake during a time when there is no natural sunlight.

Am I suggesting sleeping away your life every night? Certainly not. For there are times when you can’t but wake up before dawn to set some things in order. However, the advice is to regulate how you do this. Sleep early, wake early. This will increase your energy level, your productivity level, and even your life span.

Tip # 2: Positive Mental Attitude

Some people are prone to waking up from the wrong side of the bed in the morning. It is important to note that the attitude you put up in the early hours of the morning while you rise from the bed holds the key to what the rest of the day would look like for you.

Negative emotions or attitudes like worry, anger, bitterness, ingratitude, complaining, and so on are energy dissipators. For example it is said that one outburst of anger can consume as much energy as 8 hours of regular work. Anger and other negative emotions have been associated with the release of a hormone called Cortisol which when in excess can lead to nervous breakdown. 

Negative attitudes are depressants. They depress your mind and body. They disempower you by destabilizing your immune system, making you susceptible to all kinds of illnesses. 

More so, they undermine your confidence and enthusiasm and lower your ability to perform effectively in the key areas of your life. 

In essence, to keep your energy at the high level demands that you consciously cultivate positive attitudes on a daily basis. Be grateful. Instead of worrying about the things you don’t and can’t have, celebrate the things you already have. Choose to see abundance even in the midst of the worst conditions. By all means, stay positive.

Tip # 3: Proper Diet

This means three things: eating the right foods in the right proportion at the right time.

The energy we need for both mental and physical work is trapped in food stuffs. Nonetheless, the kinds of foods, the proportion and the timing must be balanced in order to provide you with useful energy.

The first recommendation here is water. Your body needs enough water for high performance. When your body is dehydrated, the cells, tissues and organs are in great danger. 

Water is a detoxifier. Lots of water in the body will continually help to flush out toxins, salts, and other wastes and residues that can build up in your system and slow you down.

Generally, 8 glasses of water per day is recommended for combating the normal water loss that occurs as a result of work. However, this may vary with the weight and size of individuals.

The best form of diets for your daily energy program include fruits, vegetables, whole grain foods like pasta and rice,  lean source proteins like fish and egg, vitamins and mineral supplements.

Other kinds of diet especially fats should be taken moderately to avoid overweight which leads to energy loss and health problems.

Avoid the 3 white poisons: flour, sugar and salt. These are mostly contained in processed (junk) foods and canned products like snacks, alcohol and most drinks.

Eat at proper times and don’t overeat. Don’t form a habit of eating late at night because the metabolism rate is slower during such periods and this can lead to metabolic dysfunctions resulting in other kinds of health problems.

Tip # 4: Proper Exercise

If you are like me whose heart tend to jump off the cliff anytime the idea of exercising surfaces, I want you to know that there’s no need for that.

No-one is asking you to start going to the gym everyday, except of course, you are under a fitness program to reduce weight or something.

Exercise as a way of keeping fit physically is basically about consciously doing something everyday to flex your muscles and increase your heart rate.

Proper exercise is firstly about bringing your heart rate up into what is called the training zone at least 3 times per week. The normal heart rate is 70 beats per minute. The training zone is keeping your heart rate at about 120 to 160 beats per minute for at least the next 20 minutes.

You can do this by walking 2-3 miles, three days a week. “I don’t think I have time for that,” you say. Well, have you thought about trekking to work or school. Instead of always picking a taxi or climbing from one bike to the other you can decide to wake up early enough every 3 days in the week and trek from your house to your workplace or school.
Early morning push-ups, jogging and cycling can also be incorporated into the scheme to help flex and keep your muscle tone at a high level.

***

Enough said, now take a look at the 4 tips again, what and what can you start doing in response to your daily personal energy program. Remember, without high levels of mental and physical energy, you are going nowhere with your dreams and visions.

Thank you.  

The Force of REJECTION

AS AN ENTREPRENEUR seeking to build a formidable and profitable career around your deepest passion, rejection is inevitable. At times it will linger to a point where you are almost frustrated and tempted to drop your game by the road side.
The rejection sometimes will stop you dead in your tracks as you keep wondering why the world seems to be up against you.

I had just arrived in one school to market my book FINDING YOUR CAREER PATH. After I postured the content of the work and how useful it would be to the students, the lady in charge did nothing but maintained a sneer. And by the time I said something about the cost of the book, she lashed at me as though I had grabbed her by the tail.

She made some obnoxious remarks about the book and writing as a whole. She treated the one copy I had put in her hand like trash.

In my mind I felt like knocking her on the head for bastardising the efforts and resources I’d invested as a writer in creating a product.

But then, of what use would that be? I am only being introduced to a reality which I must face on the path I’d chosen. And I had the option to deal with it or let it ride on my back.

Rejection is real. Especially when you decide to be yourself. It happens all the time. And it can come in different sizes and shapes. And in different settings. In your relatioships. In your career. In your workplace. The list continues.

You wanted that one job, and they say no, “you ain’t capable.” You’ve been dumped a couple of times by friends and family. They called you “stupid” in school. You tried selling your product / service only to get it thrown back to your face. Totally disdained and rebuffed. 

What do you do? Drop your art and let the emotions suck the life out of you? Or plunge your feet into deeper waters to test the full depth of the ocean?

How can you take full advantage of rejection and use it to push forward?

1. Acknowledge the Process

Rejection is a NORMAL phenomenon. Period. In fact, what’s ABNORMAL is not being rejected. Rejection is usually a proof that you are getting on with something unconventional. For the entrepreneur, or the one who has decided to create and sell his / her art, rejection is pretty much part of the process that brings the success. 

So the first cure is to accept it as a reality. You will be rejected by friends, family, businesses, jobs, publishers, auditors, and all the gate keepers you are likely to meet as you journey your path.

Once I establish in my mind that rejection is normal, I worry less if I am rejected or not, In fact, I even prepare to be rejected. This way, I keep creating without letting the fear of rejection interfere with the process.

2. Don’t Personalize it

At the point where you don’t see rejection as the process, you are inclined to take it personal.

There’s no reason you should. You should realize that everyone – both the rejected and the rejecters – are all trying to get by. Some of the rejections you face doesn’t mean you are not liked. It’s just that everyone is seeking for how to secure his / her stake.

For instance, that my book is rejected by an internationally acclaimed publishing company may not imply my book is trash. Or that I am not liked by the publisher. 

The rejection is probably a way of securing their own stake. So they say come up with stuffs like; “Your book is not marketable” Your style of writing is archaic.” “It does not measure up with international standards.” And so on.

Don’t take it personal. It’s normal.

3. Choose Yourself

Perhaps, rejection is the most powerful force when it comes to being a creative. Most of us will never accept who we are and may never realize our full potential but for rejection.

The near death of traditional publishing is as a result of many rounds of rejection from renowned publishers. Authors have now chosen themselves by choosing to go the way of self-publishing and growing their own platform.

That’s the upside of rejection. It forces us to get into the whole creative process. To sack off, so to say, those gate keepers that keep interfering with our advancement.

With the advances in technology and the internet, the line keeps widening. The opportunities have become endless. You now have the right to say yes, to choose yourself and move forward with or without the yes of the gatekeepers.

4. Improve your Approach

One key way to reap positively from rejection is to constantly take it as a feedback. When you suffer rejections, instead of saying to yourself; “I suck, no-one likes me. I’m sc***ed.” Ask yourself; “what can I do differently?”

Statistically, 30% of the people will not like you. Another 30% will care less about you. 10% will shuttle between not liking and not caring. You only have 30% who will like you. It is from among this group that you get those who can accept your offerings.

Utilise rejection, (especially from the last 30%) to seek for alternatives.

Your product is down on sales. Try creating a different product with similar or entirely different features. Try freebies. Create something and offer it for free and let them smell the great value in it that could wet their appetite for more.

The point is, when you are rejected, don’t give up. Instead, change up! Try a different approach. Do something differently again and again. Keep tweaking until you eventually hit the gold mine. 

It takes great AUDACITY to keep creating despite the REJECTIONS.

Be Audacious!!!

Another Reason We Get Stuck: Putting the “How” ahead of the “Why”

THE COMMON EXCUSE we provide for not following a particular course of action, or for not pursuing a set goal / desire is “I don’t know how”.

This, of course, is well founded. For it is technically not possible to move from point A to B when you don’t know “how”. Nonetheless, there’s a primary reason this becomes our “experience” and on the long haul, our “excuse.”

Last we I wrote something about why we get stuck. I titled it The Foundation. Today I want to highlight something else which I believe is another, perhaps, one more reason we often get stuck.

I think “Jurrasic World” is a great science-fiction movie. Actually I’d watched it a couple of times. The movie combined advances in gene science with what happens in everyday life.

Beyond the horror of watching the dinosaurs and raptors rip people and things to shreds, I enjoy the feeling I get about how we tend to respond when facing a desperate situation.

This is clearly spelt out in the scene that had to do with Aunt Claire’s two little nephews as they tried to escape the clutch of one of the raptors. Out of desperation, the two boys put to use a highly sophisticated weapon they’ve never before seen in their lives to smoke the raptor to death.

They didn’t know “how” but it kind of emerged. How come?

Although one could say the “how” emerged by chance in their situation, the major lesson it holds is the fact that there’s always something more important than the “how” which is the “why/what.” And that if we are able to focus diligently on the “what/why” the “how” will emerge sooner than later. As a matter of fact, the “how” matters less without the “what/why”

But the problem is that we are always putting the “how” ahead of the “why”.

Just dropped my ears a couple of hours ago to a podcast containing an interview with the legendary author and speaker, Tony Robbins. He’s one man whose words can practically set your bones on fire.

He said, “the “Why” is not as important as the “How”. Always put the “why” ahead of the “how” and you will be all good.”

One problem with putting the “how” ahead of the “why” is that it breeds thoughts of limitations. 

While the “how” deals with mind issues, the “why” deals with heart issues. And the heart, not the mind, is where the motivation, the energy and the drive needed to navigate your course lies.

Putting the “how” ahead of the “why” is the reason we often fail to reach the “what” Such inclination is what handicaps us from stepping into the flow to reach out for the “what”. For that is when we begin to consider ideas such as; “I don’t have enough funds to get it done.” “I lack the necessary skills.” “I am not very competent.” “No-one likes me.” “I don’t have enough connections.” “What if I fail?” “What if no-one likes it?” And on and on it goes.

On the contrary, the “why” brings with it a sense of purpose that ignites every fibre of your being to find ways to get things done that needs to be done. It brings with it that “desperation” that enables you to stumble, so to say, into that realm of unknown where you perfunctorily unlock a code you never had or thought you could crack.

The point is, if we are able to figure out clearly “what” to do and “why” we need to do it, if we could establish that “why” firmly in our core, the “how” is left with no other option. The universe will somehow simply begin to conspire together to get us what we desire.

Always, and I mean, always, put the “why” ahead of the “how”. And like Tony said, “…you will be all good.”

The Foundation

ONE OF THE realities of our time is the fact that majority of us are stuck in life. We are trapped. And we feel that all the options have been taken away from us.

James Altucher wrote; “The most dreadful thing in life is not dying. It is being born. Once you are born, you are screwed. For then you must fight to survive.” 

Actually I’ve been digesting the ideas in his book “Choose Yourself” for the past two days. One remarkable ideas that keep hitting me as I roll the pages of the book is one that affects humanity tremendously.

In fact, it’s something I’ve written about sometime ago. The work is surely one of the many works lying around in my lappy.

It is what Stephen Covey of “The 7 habits…” would refer to as “sharpening the saw.” It was Abraham Lincoln who once said; “If I have 6 hours to chop down a tree, I will spend the first 4 hours sharpening  my axe.

While the task is to chop down the tree, the condition of the tool for executing the task is more important. If I don’t get my saw sharpened, I will spend ages cutting at the base of the tree without much success.

How does this apply in our roles as humans living life?

We are overly more concerned about the business of living – achieving that and this – that we forget [sometimes, ignore] the need to sharpen the saw of our inner faculties.

I call it “The Foundation”. The base from which the best things of life proceed and is birthed forth in its purest form. 

The basic error is attaching ourselves to external realities at the expense of what lie on the inside. We forget that what we see on the outside is only but the ripples of the ocean trapped within.

The fire that lights up your world and presents you as a beacon to humanity lie at the base of your inner core. 

When you are stuck or feel trapped, it is “the foundation” – the base from where the business of living occurs – that should be revisited. 

There are 4 dimensions to this base. And how we attend to these dimensions on a daily basis is what affects everything else in our lives.

You cannot live a full life from a position of ill-health. “The foundation” is about health and balance. It’s about creating an atmosphere within that propels you forward to live the life that you truly desire.

In sharing this idea, it is my desire to summarize the simple practices to maintain with regards to these 4 dimensions which naturally provokes results on the outside, and gets one unstuck.

1. The Spiritual Dimension

The key to spiritual health is to learn to practice two basic principles. The principle of GRATITUDE and SURRENDER. 

For gratitude, each morning when you wake up, ask yourself, “What/who am I grateful for? Who are those I can call today to express gratitude to? The answer you get should motivate your action. 

For surrender, it’s about reestablishing in your mind the fact that there are events in your life that you are not in control of, and perhaps, would never really be in control of. Your job then is to focus on the things you have immediate control over.

2. The Mental Dimension

Your mind always wants to boss you around. To keep you busy with unproductive tasks that translates into worry and despair much sooner than later. 

The common prescription for mental health is to engage your mind early in the morning ever before it tries to get into the game of bossing you around. Provide it with large chunks of meaningful task to accomplish for the day that it would rarely have the time to wander off into unpleasant terrains.

3. The Emotional/Social Dimension

The key here is to do just two things – spend time doing only what you love, and spend time only with the people you love. Period. Anything else outside this two is the reason for the emotional baggages that laden us with stress and pain.

4. The Physical Dimension

Take care of your body it is the only mansion that houses your true content. 

Three practices are important here.

Diet. Try to avoid junk foods. Eat enough fruits and vegetables. They contain phytochemicals and antioxidants that ward off free toxic oxides that bring about age-related macular degeneration.

Exercise. This doesn’t necessarily have to be anything traditional. It can be as simple as making a habit of taking a brisk long walk daily. Personally, I do push-ups once I jump out of bed in the morning and walk round the compound to allow natural air to rush through my nostrils and provide the blood system with the purest form of oxygen to do a good job of detoxification. 

Rest. You need enough sleep, at least 8 hours per day. Sleep is not only good for your body but for your mind as well. A good sleep makes you wake up in the morning feeling like one who has just been born again. And if you’d asked me, I think that could pretty much be the idea behind the Creator’s invention of sleep.

So what? 

Take care of the foundation. Wake up every morning with a basic understanding of what is required to keep you spiritually, mentally, emotionally and physically healthy. With such daily disposition and practice, your best life has no option but to emerge to limelight.

Spark Up Your Creativity


HAVE YOU EVER imagined the possibilities of thinking in different ways? The possibilities of creating something new in your work and in your life.

Creativity is an inborn ability, and thankfully it can’t be lost, neither does it depreciate with time like naira or dollar.

Creativity only goes into hiding and a state of dormancy from lack of use. It can be tapped and revitalized upon demand. You don’t need to worry about whether you can be creative or not. You need only accept the idea that you still possess what was given you at birth – the inherent wisdom, intelligence, and creativity that constitute your particular brand of genius.

You are a creative genius. 

You have the capacity to forge new perspectives and rearrange the old in a novel and exciting way. Your creative storehouse is enriched with the wisdom of the ages, the understanding of the present, and the vision of the future.

It is not lack of creativity that you suffer; it is lack of the skills and tenacity necessary to constantly tap into your creative genius.

Creativity thrives with your thinking skills. And there are just about 7 bold ways I’d suggest you start thinking if you desperately want to start harnessing your creative juices beyond what you’d ever imagined.

1. Think Association

One of the phenomenal things about the mind is its ability to build connections between dissimilar ideas. Your mind cannot deliberately hold two separate ideas without eventually forming a connection between them.

Through association we can remember places, persons, and things.

The highly creative genius is forever associating ideas and concepts and seeking always to build connections.

Once you become aware of this as a reality you will automatically begin to see the connections between the multiple ideas in your mind, leading to greater creativity.

2. Think Substitution 

Most innovations in the world today are byproducts of substitutional thinking. For example, at one time, the transistor replaced the vacuum tube, and now the computer chip replaces them both.

When you think substitution, ask yourself how you might replace a different material or process with what is currently in use. What can you remove and what can you add that would probably produce an alternative effect, or perhaps the same effect but more easily and faster?

This is how Bill Gates of Microsoft and Steve Jobs of Apply Inc. took the field of computer technology to the next level.

The key is to never assume that anything is indispensable – feel free to substitute. Feel free to put Z in place of A. Take a look at everyday products and services. Perhaps there is a substitute that will work better or last longer, or cost less or be more durable, and so on.

3. Think Rearrangement

Do not be stumped with logical thinking pattern. Organized thinking has its great proceeds. But to pump up your creative flow would demand being a little more irrational in your thinking.

That is, shift things around. Turn products or ideas upside down, inside out, reverse the order – rearrange things. Put C before A and Q after Z.

Salespeople are known to use this creative technique to discover new applications for products and new ways of emphasizing customer benefits. You too can leverage on this method to initiate new use of a particular product or service in your organization or career.

4. Think Big

Think bold. Think no limits. Think big stuffs. 

Picture a skyscraper, jumbo jets, giant soft drinks, large economy-size products – what is it they all have in common? They are of greater benefit because they were made larger.

At the time when android phones and iPhones were introduced in the market, Steve Jobs started thinking of the possibilities of making something bigger, something in-between the smartphone and laptops.

Most people doubted the sellability of such an idea on the basis that it doesn’t stand a chance in the midst of the ongoing competition with smartphones.

However, Jobs went ahead and executed the idea. That is how the iPad was born. And today it has sold more and generated greater revenue than the former.

The implication is that by increasing size, or thinking big, you can add more value as well as greater possibilities in the use of a particular product or service.

5. Think Small

While there are dividends in thinking big, there also are great benefits in thinking small.

A quick way to illustrate the power of thinking small is by considering the transition from the macrocomputers to the PCs. 

IBM was the ruling company when it came to computers. A time came when a young man called Bill who worked in the organization came up to them with his idea of a personal computer which will be built using a smaller kind of software.

IBM rebuffed the young man’s idea by saying that it is not possible. The young man resigned from the company and that was how Microsoft was born – an idea which revolutionized the computer industry completely and holistically.

Think of ways by which making a particular product of service smaller, you can improve on its features and functionality.

6. Think Combination

Almost everything in nature including you, is a product of combination of different elements. Oxygen and hydrogen as separate elements have a use, but by combining the two elements, water, a new product which serves different unique purposes is produced.

Music and comedy are two separate kinds of entertainment. But someone decided to combine them together, and as a result the musical comedy was born.

Sometimes the power of combination is seen by uniting or integrating the mundane or common into a new product or service. Everything you see, hear, smell, taste or touch offers great opportunity to consider new combinations.

7. Think Adaptation

Adaptation is about thinking of adapting old things to new uses, or old methods to new applications. 

The phonograph record and motion camera originally developed for entertainment have been adapted today for learning and education.

The truth is that throughout the remainder of the decade and beyond, we will see the result of individuals thinking adaptation and coming up with concepts and ideas worth millions.

Will you be among this group?

The only limit to what you can achieve by adapting the old to the new, is the limit to your own creativity.

Since there’s no limit to your own creativity, the possibilities are therefore endless.

Would you like to learn about the 3 levels of creativity and how to unleash your own creative genius? I have this special gift for you. It’s a report that will show you the step-by-step procedure you can utilise daily to harness your creative potentials to the fullest.

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